C Average is made up of two heshers who seem capable of defending any hamlet or bog from the vilest evil, so swift are their punishing riffs spraying forth like a hail of poison-tipped arrows, so sharp are their hooks tearing at the flesh like the claws of falcons. The medieval-themed fantasy world of Dungeons and Dragons registered profoundly with these two chaps, causing them to invent a metal band that goes well beyond
Iron Maiden in its obsession with all things chivalrous and regal. Sounding like a herd of galloping oxen with a dragon at their heels,
C Average uses a simple guitar and drums assault to create a virtual battlefield of dueling knights, headless dwarves, and demented wizards. "American Jim" is a sludgy
Sabbath-like beast which eventually launches into an early-
Metallica-like, super-fast-paced, knock-over-all-the-Marshall-stacks-style mosher, while "Genericube" is about an unhappy robot or something like that, but in a minute's time dives into shark-filled moats and scales impenetrable towers. Songs such as "Usurper Girl," "Dr. Laura," and "Forged in Birmingham" rock with the heaviness of an anvil landing on a warlock's foot and the speed and agility of a bat nabbing a baby. Also, the covers of
the Sonics' "He's Waiting" and
ZZ Top's "Beer Drinkers and Hellraisers" will kick your elfin ass from here to Narnia. ~ Adam Bregman