If you ever heard
Grauzone's early-'80s gloomfest "Esibaer," you'd know it. Had a bass guitar toddling along the beach like
the Just Brothers' "Sliced Tomatoes" before being stabbed by glass synths, German monotones, and a bleating swan who was just in the middle of a filthy saxophone squall from the last scene in The Conversation. This is the clubbed-up, stand-on-the-apple-box update. Goodie. All the various remixes follow the same formula: big ol' slabs of house plus syncopated keyboards that make your hands twirl. And good thing the original kind of zooms in and out through all this too; no matter how much these goober trance fests try, the original's pervo desolation sneaks in. Be honest: If you can't appreciate dance music that has lines that translate to "I'd like to be a polar bear / In the cold arctic / Then I'd never have to cry / Polar bears don't cry," you're not a very happy person. ~ Dean Carlson