When it comes right down to it, what
Kid Rock attempts is kind of tricky: he's trying to create new classic rock, songs to compete with
Skynyrd and
Seger as the soundtrack of choice for jukeboxes and pickup trucks across the country. This is the sound of the white-trash, downriver rocker in him coming through, triumphing over the jive rapper who brought him his fame. It was there even when he was aping
the Beastie Boys and yodeling in the canyon, but once the country-rock of "Picture" revived the sales of the flagging
Cocky, he put all his chips on classic rock, beginning with 2004's eponymous platter, a good record without a single hit single. That lack of a hit was enough to scare
Kid, to strip away his few lingering subtleties and turn out an album as big, bold, and brainless as 2007's
Rock N Roll Jesus. Apart from a drum loop here and a chanted bridge there, this is classic white-trash rock through and through, but where his heroes were creating a blueprint,
Kid Rock is doggedly following their path, and he won't ever let you forget it, either. He name-drops relentlessly, steals songs titles from both
Alabama and
Billy Squier, cribs rhyme schemes from
Seger and melodies from
Elton John ("Blue Jeans and a Rosary" is straight out of "Levon"), adopts
John Fogerty's fake mushmouth Southern accent for his obligatory Big Easy salute, "New Orleans," and pays homage to
Back in Black with his cover art. He works hard to evoke the ghosts of the past, hoping that all his allusions will give him classic rock cred by association, when it only winds up underscoring the distance between him and his heroes. Nowhere is this truer than on "All Summer Long," a spin on "Night Moves" built entirely upon the chords from "Werewolves of London" with a slight lift from "Sweet Home Alabama" on the chorus, which only brings to mind how much better those three songs are than this mash-up.