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How to Become a Virgin

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Kill Roger Hedgecock

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Moth-Eaten Deer Head

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The Half-Eaten Sausage Would Like to See You in His Office

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Straight from the Horse's Mouth

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Priest with the Sexually-Transmitted Diseases, Get out of My Bed

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Cattle Mutilation

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Perils of Believing in Round Squares

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Twenty-Three Lubed-Up Schizophrenics with Delusions of Grandeur

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Stucco Obelisks Labeled as Trees

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Skin Graft at Seventy-Five Miles an Hour

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Get off the Cross, The Wood Is Needed

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Who Wants a Dose of the Clap?

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Wet Nurse Syndrome (Hand Me Down Display Case)

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Gluing Carpet to Your Genitals Does Not Make You a Cantaloupe

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Twenty-Three Full-Time Cowboys

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Truth Is Born of Arguments

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Armless and Overactive / Invented Organs

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